Purpose and Direction
Grief and Loss
After losing someone dear to you or experiencing a personal loss, grief will likely be a natural response as you seek emotional healing from such events. If you are presently in the throws of grief, please know that there is support out there for you when you feel you need it.
If you are grieving, take life one step at a time. Try not to compound your hurt by placing high expectations on yourself. Be kind to yourself and listen to what your body is telling you. If you are having an especially hard day, reduce your schedule so that it allows for some breathing time. Tomorrow is a new day and could be different. If so, you may find yourself able to handle and process more numerous and pressing tasks.
What Causes Grief?
Grief is the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one - and this type of loss does often cause the most intense grief. But any loss can cause grief, including (but definitely not restricted to):
The Grief Process
There is no one perfect blue-print for how a person should grieve, as each person will experience grief differently. The grieving process usually consists of the following stages. Note that not everyone goes through all these stages.
The following are some ideas to help cope with grief:
1. Maintain open communication with a good friend/family member who will allow you to verbalize your thoughts and feelings.
2. If you feel you are ready, you might try attending a regular grief support group or study.
3. If you like to write or create, try regularly adding entries to your journal/diary.
4. Allow yourself time to walk through the emotions you are feeling. Be gentle with yourself. Take everything one step at a time.
Support Articles
- After your loss
- Coping with death and grief
- Divorce Care
- Some ideas to help make it through holidays
- The grief of infertility
Support Centers
American Cancer Society - Call Patient Service Dept at 614-4211.
Life After Loss - a 5-week support group program to anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one within the past two years, regardless of the loved one's death (a free service).
AARP - Call Enola Wheeler at 674-7194 or Maria Morales at 645-9518.
Compassionate Friends is a center offering support for anyone who has lost a child.
After losing someone dear to you or experiencing a personal loss, grief will likely be a natural response as you seek emotional healing from such events. If you are presently in the throws of grief, please know that there is support out there for you when you feel you need it.
If you are grieving, take life one step at a time. Try not to compound your hurt by placing high expectations on yourself. Be kind to yourself and listen to what your body is telling you. If you are having an especially hard day, reduce your schedule so that it allows for some breathing time. Tomorrow is a new day and could be different. If so, you may find yourself able to handle and process more numerous and pressing tasks.
What Causes Grief?
Grief is the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one - and this type of loss does often cause the most intense grief. But any loss can cause grief, including (but definitely not restricted to):
- Relationship Breakup/Divorce
- Loss of a Loved One
- Health Problems
- Loss of a Friendship
- Unemployment
- Trauma
- Loss of Financial Stability
- Loss of a Cherished Dream
- Miscarriage
- Moving
The Grief Process
There is no one perfect blue-print for how a person should grieve, as each person will experience grief differently. The grieving process usually consists of the following stages. Note that not everyone goes through all these stages.
-
Denial and Shock
At first, it may be difficult for a person to accept their own dying or the death of a loved one. The result of this? A person will deny the reality of death. However, this denial will gradually diminish as a person begins to express and share their feelings about death and dying with other family, or friends.
Anger
The most common question asked during this phase is "why me?". A person becomes angry at what they perceive to be the unfairness of death and may project and displace their anger onto others. When given some social support and respect, a person will eventually become less angry and will be able to move into the next stage of grieving.
Bargaining
Many people try to bargain and offer to give up an enjoyable part of their lives in exchange for the return of health or the lost person.
Guilt
A person may find themselves feeling guilty for things they did or didn't do prior to the loss. Guilt may be especially overpowering when a relative/friend/aquaintance passes away suddenly and without warning. A person in this stage of grief will need to arrive at a place where they can forgive themselves before moving on in the grieving process.
Depression
At first a person may experience a sense of great loss. Mood fluctuations and feelings of isolation and withdrawal may follow. It takes time for a person to gradually return to their old self and become socially involved in what's going on around them.
Please note that encouragement and reassurance to the bereaved person will not be helpful in this stage.
Loneliness
Going through changes in their social life because of their loss, may cause a person to feel lonely and afraid. The more you are able to reach out to others and make new friends, the more this feeling lessens.
Acceptance
Acceptance does not mean happiness. Instead a person accepts and deals with the reality of the situation.
Hope
Eventually a person will reach a point where remembering will be less painful for them. They will begin to look ahead to the future and the possibility of good times.
The following are some ideas to help cope with grief:
1. Maintain open communication with a good friend/family member who will allow you to verbalize your thoughts and feelings.
2. If you feel you are ready, you might try attending a regular grief support group or study.
3. If you like to write or create, try regularly adding entries to your journal/diary.
4. Allow yourself time to walk through the emotions you are feeling. Be gentle with yourself. Take everything one step at a time.
Support Articles
- After your loss
- Coping with death and grief
- Divorce Care
- Some ideas to help make it through holidays
- The grief of infertility
Support Centers
American Cancer Society - Call Patient Service Dept at 614-4211.
Life After Loss - a 5-week support group program to anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one within the past two years, regardless of the loved one's death (a free service).
AARP - Call Enola Wheeler at 674-7194 or Maria Morales at 645-9518.
Compassionate Friends is a center offering support for anyone who has lost a child.